Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Made in Heaven

 "C'mon, Slim, how you 'spect to git a woman 'less'n ya' c'n talk 'em up?"


"I don' got no words f'r that sort o'thing, Vern."


"Y'noe Slim, if'n yer Ma wuzn't my Pa's sister, I'd swear we wuzn't related at all!'


It seems as though Slim had been trying since puberty to get "Big Betty", the last available semblance of a woman in town, to marry him, without success, and so, had appealed to "Lil' Cuz Vern" for help.


"Now, ya' gotta' tell'er things like, 'Yer beauty cud dam' near stop the hands o' time!'"


"Don' knoe, Vern, las' time I talk' at 'er she got mad as a wildcat whut stepped on a hot poker, an' dam' near broke my arm!


You have to keep in mind that Slim was as strong as an ox and about half as smart, in words as kind as can be said, he was 'not the brightest bulb in the box'.


"Listen, ya' gotta git down'n one knee, hol' up that wooden ring ya' made, an' tell 'er wut I tol'ya to, 'n' y'll be fine.


Well, Slim met with the, ahem, "beautiful Big Betty" the very next day, and upon his return was met by Vern and a few others, a return notably marked by a blackened eye, fat lip. bloody ear, and this time a broken arm, prompting the question, "Damn Slim, wut the Hell'dya' do to 'er?"


I jus' tol' 'er wut ye said, "…that she had a face that could stop an eight day clock!", an' then the lights went out!



Jim Hunkele: From a family heritage of writers, I decided that such was not for me.  I went on my merry way, experiencing one sort of job after another.  I'd learn a job, get bored, and move on.  I've worked in the Richmond , VA foundry, operated a nuclear reactor in the North Ana plant, and everything in between.  In my late 40's, I became an Immigration Officer, where I got to interview others about their jobs.  Since, after 30 years, I'd gleaned so much from so many different positions, I felt I had finally found my niche.  While my stories relate to current life events, I plan to begin writings based on the stories I have accumulated in the Immigration Offices.  Yes, I finally have the time and inclination to write.  In God We Trust!  photo2wood.blogspot.com

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." ~Benjamin Franklin                


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